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I harbor hatred against no one

by Mónica Drouilly

Translation by Bruce Gibbons Fell.

The following text is an excerpt from the play.

This play is fully protected under Chilean copyright laws.


Cold is the gaze,

Cold is the heart.

HÉCTOR PAVEZ, “Corazón de Escarcha” 


The frost melts,

The birds gleam.

OZAKI HOOSAI, I move my shadow




This could be the play’s preset. Héctor Pavez’s “Corazón de Escarcha” (“Heart of Frost”) is playing. You know, Heart of frost / left the ranch, cold is the gaze, cold is the heart. Like this: cold is the gaze, cold is the heart. Let’s remember: Just for looking at her, just for loving her, he fired him that morning / furious was the master. That’s when our Frost disappears. For a while. Disappears. Because people sometimes disappear. And then come back. Or maybe not. Not everyone comes back. Frost comes back, yes. Frost is the kind that comes back. And comes back so wealthy that he can woo the master’s daughter. We already know: two souls joined together / and under the snow / they sing to love. Let this be the mood for the beginning of the play, the millionaire shepherd’s mood that was able to marry the master’s daughter. The mood that knows poverty, and therefore, is willing to do anything not to go back to it. We are ready. Let us begin.




























So I begin to listen to the wind.

Like this.

The wind and the falling snow.

They are my favorite sounds.

The harder the wind hits,

the more I like its sound.

Some people say they don’t like

how the wind caresses them.


The wind doesn’t caress; the wind hits.


And when it hits is when I most like it.

The cracking.

As well.

The cracking when you step on the frost.

I like that sound.

But I don’t like the cold as much.

What I like the most is that I can do it.

I decide when the frost cracks.

I decide when.

I decide how.

Those freezing mornings I go out with caution.

To not fall down.

And step on the little layers of frost left on the grass.

Crack. Crick. Crack.

It’s a game.

Sometimes you find a frozen leaf,

a litter flower.

And sometimes a little bird.

A dead little bird, frozen in the frost,

paused forever

by the same little layer of ice

that’s good for playing with cracking.

And well,

then comes the sound that’s left after the snow falls.

Or the lack of sound.

As if the world had become bigger and then fell asleep.

An absolute silence.


Absolute silence is a tricky thing.

So I turn the radio on.


I like this song.

Heart of Frost.

A little bit fragile.

They step on it, and it breaks.

That’s how I imagine a frosted heart.


Cold is the gaze,

Cold is the heart…


The song is interrupted by the drums.

Da-bam-bam-badump, Da-bam-bam-badump, badump.

Da-bam-bam-badump, Da-bam-bam-badump, badump.

It’s urgent, Diario Cooperativa is calling.

And we hear about the human torches.

And that in the middle of the protests, some kids in Santiago were burned.

Human torches.

We can’t stay and do nothing.

So we march.

Many may say it’s an irresponsible thing to do.

But we can’t stay with our arms crossed.

Here we go,

The president marches.

The secretary marches.

The treasurer marches.

All the girls march.

We all go out on the streets. I am the secretary. I’m in charge of writing the minutes.

What we mostly work on is the human rights issue.

It’s logical for us to do our political work against the dictatorship.

Es lógico que tenemos que hacer nuestro trabajo político contra la dictadura. 


And protest.

And we go out to Víctor Domingo Silva. 

Maybe the mistake is ours.

At first, we think we’ll be going around the plaza.

The plaza is full of cop cars.

And things begin to get heated.

And it seems we are leaving the plaza.

And some go down a dead-end street.

And it’s easy to ambush people in dead-end streets.

And that’s what they do.


And in the ambush, many women are beaten.

They beat them very heard.

We don’t get scared.

Those who are wounded the most withdraw a bit.

And the ones who aren’t wounded go march.

The president marches.

The secretary marches.

The treasurer marches.

All the girls march.

And then they arrest them.

Some are taken to the hospital first.

A huge beating.

That’s how I write it in the minutes,

a huge BEATING.

And I come over to headquarters to call Radio Ventisqueros.

So they can know what’s going on.

A girl gets hit with a police cane so many times

with a police cane another time

with a police cane another time

with a police cane another time

that it shatters her pelvis

But not all of them are going to report their injuries.

AND YES, it may have been our mistake to go protest at the plaza.

But we can’t stay with our arms crossed.

That’s what he talked about.

It’s in the minutes,

And since I’ve never been fearful, of course I’m going to the plaza.

I am not arrested that day.


Once a carabinero arrested me.

The one from the quinta in the corner.

The Sergeant from the Port, they called him.

He arrested me because I went shopping.

and I saw that Carabineros were dragging some kids with them.

And I stayed to look because it impacted me.

And he tells me

and what is it that you’re looking at, you old gossip.

And I tell him

I’m looking at the injustice you’re doing to the boy.



I’m going to arrest you.

Well, if you think you have to arrest me, take me then,

I said to him,

But what you’re doing is terrible.

He had to find a pickup truck,

because he was on foot

and arrested me.

He brought another carabinero that was with him, and the children sat in the back,

and I sat in the front, with him.

In the station

they took from the children the things they’d stolen.

I felt sad for the children. 

The loot the children brought was some bread and some porcelain-like figurines.

I’m quite sure they stole those.

What kind of robbery is this,

I said to them.

This is not a place you come scream to, lady.

Then they let me go and gave me a fine.

Yes, for obstruction of justice.

Obstruction of justice!

Obstruction of justice!

I told them I wanted to pay my dues in prison, and they said to me:

Look, lady, unfortunately, you cannot pay for that crime in prison.

And if you wanted to stay arrested, as long as you don’t pay, you’ll never get out.

We had to gather some funds, and we had to pay.

That was the time I was arrested.

But I was young then.

And since I was young, those things aren’t that noticeable.

I find out about all this on the radio.

We find out about the Coup on the radio.

About the stars in the Festival de Viña.

About earthquakes.

I like the new songs.

And leave the headquarters to walk around the city.



We can’t stay with our arms crossed.

I spent enough time outside the dictatorship already.

I’d lived an ordinary life.

And what we were going through was anything but ordinary.

It’s time to cross the desert.

Captura de pantalla 2020-10-27 a la(s) 1

I harbor hatred against no one

Director: Antonieta Inostroza Garabito

Assistance:  Beatriz Pino Finlez

Cast: Sabrina Porcel

Video y photo: Gabriel Gavilán

Design: Rodrigo Pirela

Maker: Gloria Hernández

Investigation: Hayley Durán

Photo: Santamaría Cañas Ingrid

To contact the author, write to us.


#entrevistasinterdram2020 #interviewsinterdram2020 #entrevistamonicadrouilly






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